Avonlea “Memento Mori”

Date

Avonlea "Memento Mori"

Not Rated

Season 5 Episode 2 (air date 3/7/94)

Directed by Don McBrearty        Production Company Sullivan Entertainment

Starring Sarah Polley, Jackie Burroughs, Mag Ruffman, Cedric Smith, Lally Cadeau

In the quaint village of Avonlea on Prince Edward Island, Hetty, matriarch of the King family, prepares to celebrate her 50th birthday.

Opening Thoughts

The day this blog post goes public, I will celebrate my 50th birthday. Recently I was digging around in my storage unit and found my baby book. I hadn’t looked through it in many years, and decided to pull it out and peruse its pages once more. What I found between its satin covers both surprised and delighted me.

First of all, my mother was extremely consistent about filling the book with information of all kinds (probably because I was her first child and a novelty). She had entered all of the basic baby information, birthdate, weight, length. When I first rolled over, sat up, stood, and walked. When I first started eating solid food and when I started talking. But she had also made copious notes on things such as doctor and dentist visits, saved things like my nursery school and kindergarten progress reports, and included locks of hair from haircuts and the hospital bracelet from when I had my tonsils out. The book is not only a very comprehensive history of the first seven years of my life, it’s a work of art.

But what really amused me were several observations and comments she wrote down as I grew:

(10 weeks old) “Sarah is laughing a LOT!” (hearts)

(1 ½ yrs old) “Sarah is cheerful all the time, very loving and affectionate with people she knows. Not a hint of maliciousness in her at all.”

(2 yrs old) “Sarah loves to play ‘Let’s pretend.’ Very imaginative!”

(3 yrs old) “Sarah loves to draw and color, all the time. Will sit for long periods of time doing this.”

(4 yrs old) “Sarah can sing most songs she hears right after hearing them. Is smart and picks things up fast, and will go around singing happily.”

(5 yrs old) “Sarah is very creative in both her play and her speech, she makes up all kinds of interesting things!”

(6 yrs old) “Sarah likes to daydream, maybe spends too much time daydreaming?” (I guess some things never change haha)

(7 yrs old) “Sarah, at age 7, can read to herself, and loves reading and books of all kinds. Over the summer she read twenty-five books in a contest at the library! Quite an achievement.”

There was lots of other stuff, of course, but the above really jumped out at me because it showed just how long I’ve been doing all those things. For instance, laughing so much at ten weeks old. People who know me often tell me how my laugh is so unique and joyful. I’ve been at conferences where people can tell I’m nearby even when they can’t see me, just by the sound of my laugh. And now, at age 50, I still love to sing, draw, color, play dress up, daydream, read, and “make up all kinds of interesting things.” My mother’s words confirm that I’ve been exhibiting creativity in various forms my whole life, and it gave me great joy to see how the seeds that God planted in me as a child have provided so much fruit since then.

Finding and being able to re-read my baby book was a very precious and special birthday present from my mother. Since she passed away two and a half years ago, I did not expect to receive anything from her ever again. I’ll treasure it forever.

When I was praying and asking God about what to write about this month, he brought to mind an episode of one of my favorite TV shows growing up. “Avonlea” was a spinoff of the very popular miniseries, “Anne of Green Gables,” and my sister and I watched it for years when it aired on the Disney Channel. The episode I’ll be reviewing centers around Hetty King, the matriarch of the King family, as she celebrates her 50th birthday. Read on for what God showed me in the second episode of season five, “Memento Mori.”

Spoilers for "Memento Mori" here!

Hetty King, the eldest sister of the King family, awakens on the morning of her 50th birthday after dreaming of her deceased mother. Her niece Sara wishes her happy birthday and tries to give her a gift, which Hetty hurriedly opens before leaving for an appointment with her publisher. Once Hetty has left, Sara and her aunt Olivia go to her uncle Alec and aunt Janet’s home to help them prepare for the party they plan to surprise Hetty with when she returns that evening.

Hetty’s meeting with her publisher does not go well. The business has been taken over by the son of her former employer, who tells Hetty her books are out of date and boring. He demands Hetty write something more exciting, and asks her if she has ever traveled anywhere, to which Hetty confesses she has not. The publisher accuses her of having “seen very little and done even less,” and that is why her novels are “artificial and lifeless.” She is released from the contract with the publisher, and goes home in defeat, utterly dejected.

Hetty’s early return sets off a flurry of near-misses as her family tries to keep her from discovering the birthday party preparations. Hetty is passed back and forth between family members all afternoon, all the while being troubled by a strange pain in her side. She eventually becomes frustrated by the antics of her family and demands to be brought home. As her brother Alec drives her back in his wagon, she questions whether her life has been boring, which he denies. She asks him what she will be remembered for, and he brings up her job as a school teacher, and how well she has raised her niece, Sara.

Hetty enters an empty house, feeling bereft and abandoned by her family. She kneels by the fireplace and burns her manuscript. Later, when Sara arrives to bring her to the surprise party, Hetty, still feeling rejected and bothered by the pain in her side, refuses to go. Sara leaves, and Hetty collapses to the floor shortly after.

The King family decides that since Hetty won’t come, they will bring the party to her, and arrive bearing cake and presents to find Hetty on the floor. A doctor is sent for, who declares that Hetty’s appendix is ready to burst and he must operate at once. Asleep during the operation, Hetty dreams again of her mother, who tells her to “measure her life not by what she does, but by how she feels.” The operation is a success, and Hetty spends the next few weeks recuperating.

Later, Hetty presides over her belated birthday, enjoying the many gifts she has received. After she has opened them all, Janet’s aunt, Eliza, sits down at a piano and plays a flawed, halting version of “Happy Birthday.” She explains her gift to Hetty is that “we are never too old to learn or to try something new.”

After everyone has left, Hetty encourages Sara to leave the cleaning up and they go to the beach together, where Hetty proclaims her love for her Avonlea home and Prince Edward Island. She tells Sara authors write about what they know best, and she plans to write a book about life on the Island. The episode ends with Hetty obviously relishing the second chance at life she has been given.

So What Did God Show Me?

-I loved when Felix and Cecily bring out the banner which proudly proclaims, “Happy Birthday Hetty! Here’s to another half-century!” I was cracking up at Janet’s reaction and how she suggests they “leave off the half century bit.” I can see how to someone like Hetty, who isn’t necessarily pleased to be turning 50, it could be taken as a bit of a jab, but I thought it was great. I’m super proud of reaching a half century, or as a friend calls it, my “Year of Jubilee.” (I must add that the only reason I don’t mind the half century part is that no one ever, and I mean EVER, believes I’m as old as I am. I usually get taken for being in my mid-thirties. Must be my fabulous maturity level heh heh.) It’s also kind of funny when Felix refers to Hetty, at age 50, as “ancient.” Ah, youth. I absolutely remember thinking how anyone who was over the age of 30 had one foot in the grave and was shopping for Geritol and Dentu-grip.

-The scene where Hetty is fired from her publisher hit home for me. As an author, I know the sting of rejection, and being released from a contract. It can be incredibly devastating when you pour your heart, soul, and time into a project, and it’s tossed aside with indifference for being “not good enough.” I’ve had this happen to me, it’s painful. But I had to come to the realization that first of all, every creative gift I have comes from God, and he meant us, from the beginning, to create wonderful and exciting things together. So every time, before I put my fingers on the keyboard or colored pencil to paper, I pray and thank God that I get to do this with him. I get to create “great and mighty things” that have never existed before in the entire scope of space and time! With my Dad! How awesome is that?? So keeping that in mind, even if what I have to offer the world is rejected, it does not decrease its value in any way, because I didn’t make it to please the world, it was creation in joyful union with my Heavenly Father. If what I write gets rejected 457 times and never gets published and sits in a drawer forever, it will still have value because it’s mine…and his ♥️. Also Hetty needs to just find another publisher, because she’s well shot of her current one. That’s the great (and terrible) thing about publishing these days…anyone can get published in some way.

-The publisher accuses Hetty of “having seen very little and done even less,” which is why her novels are “artificial and lifeless.” Argh, publishers can be such cold stones sometimes. My friend, James L Rubart, loves to tell the story of how his first book, Rooms, was viciously rejected. Almost fifteen years later, Jim has won five Christy awards and has been entered into their Hall of Fame for lifetime achievement in writing! It just goes to prove again that our validity, whether as authors or people, cannot be found in others, it can only be found in God. Another author, Ted Dekker, says “I am not a writer. I am a child of God. Writing is a role I play while I’m here on earth for a short time. If someone knocks down your “sandcastle,” or tells you it’s no good, it only means you have put too much of your identity into it. You are distinctive from your efforts/results.”

-Hetty regrets not traveling more when she had the chance, especially when she compares herself to Muriel Stacy, who has just come back from a trip to Europe and India. Muriel is very modern, drives a motor car, and has many interesting stories to tell of her travels. How can Hetty help but feel less than, especially when she sees her niece Sara is excited to talk to Muriel about her own trips to Europe. “Why would Sara want to spend time with a boring old woman like me?” she laments later to herself.

Sometimes I struggle with comparison, too. Except my struggle is around children. I’ve been single my whole life, and while I still believe I will be married someday, I have reached the stage in life where it is becoming apparent that I will most likely not ever have a biological child. Truthfully, I don’t think I want to be pregnant, go through labor, and give birth at my age anyway. And can you imagine me at their high school graduation at age 70? “Hey man, is that your grandma?”

I was thinking about this as I went through my baby book. Perhaps I will meet a man who already has children, that would be wonderful! But the fact remains there will never be anyone who looks like me. I will never pass on my genes to a child, no part of me will physically go on after I’m gone. I’ll never get the chance to hear how my baby laughs just like me, or how they have my blue eyes. I can’t pass the Daniels name to anyone. I don’t know why this particular part of my life turned out this way…I certainly desired children. I’ve always loved babies and taking care of them. It’s one of those things I just don’t have an answer for. One option is to see everyone around me having babies and raising families and allow bitterness to rot away my insides. But instead, I have chosen to trust God. I believe my Father knows me intimately, and treats every desire and longing of my heart as nothing less than precious. I have to believe that he is good, and his intentions to give me a life more abundant are good, even if I never have children.

-One of the most heartfelt scenes was when Alec was driving Hetty home:

(hesitantly) “Alec? Do you think my life has been…boring?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Do you?”

“No!”

“Well, what have I done? What will I be…remembered for?”

“Well you’ve, uh…been a teacher. Darn good one. And, uh…you’ve been bringing up Sara. Your life’s hardly been boring. And it’s not over yet!”

“Well, what would you know? You haven’t done anything interesting either.”

While I don’t worry a lot about if my life’s been boring (It hasn’t! And I have the Reverse Bucket List to prove it!), I do worry about being forgotten someday, especially because I don’t have any children. What kind of legacy will I leave to the world? Have I made a difference to anyone? Will anyone even remember me a few generations from now? I’ve done things, sure, but have I really made a mark on the world? I like to think that at least my words as a writer will last, even after I’m gone.

This is a picture of one of my maternal great-grandmothers, Agnes Nugent, who died when I was a year old. Wasn’t she a stunner?? I like to look at her and wonder what she was like. Was she funny? Strict? Creative? Loving? Am I like her at all? What did she pass down to me? Maybe she liked bread and butter like I do. Maybe her favorite color was green, like me. Maybe she rolled her eyes when people made puns like I do. I wonder if any of my eventual great-nieces and nephews will look at my picture and wonder about me. I hope so, and I hope those who knew me tell such amazing and awesome stories about me that future generations will retell my epic exploits in awe-inspired voices as they wonder at the marvel of Sarah Elizabeth Daniels!

-In one dream sequence, a young Hetty asks her mother, “Does it matter? If I only ever stay in Avonlea?” Her mother gently responds, “Measure your life not by what you do, but by how you feel.” I have my Reverse Bucket list, and I love adding to it whenever I have a new adventure. But I think what’s more important than the adventures you experience is being willing to embrace those adventures and take advantage of the opportunities life presents you. I know many people decades older than me who don’t let their age stop them from traveling all over the world, going places and seeing things I never have. I plan to have a lot more adventures in the years to come…I only wish I had started earlier. Also, getting out and about will keep your body moving, which keeps you healthier and feeling less “old.”

-Hetty survives her appendix operation, and it’s almost like she’s been reborn, and given a fresh start at life. In coming near death, Hetty gains a new respect for life. Isn’t it always the way? We cannot truly appreciate the things we have in life until we almost lose them.

-The second scene that was very powerful for me was when Janet’s aunt Eliza plays Hetty a song on the piano. Rachel Lynde chastises her, belittling her efforts, but Eliza serenely responds, “I wanted to give Hetty something she would remember. I always wanted to learn to play the piano, but I never had the chance. Now at this great age, Felicity is teaching me how to play. So you see, Hetty, we are never too old to learn or to try something new, and that is my gift to you.”

Yes!! Yes and so much AMEN! I know of a lady in her 70s who started doing karate and a few years back received her black belt at age 72. There are ladies I’ve met who wrote their first book in their 60s. My roommate has been raising her grandson since she was 51 and he was 2, and he’s almost 20 now. As long as we’re alive, there are new things to learn, and to do, and to experience! I have lots of things I’d still like to do. I want to go on a hot air balloon ride, and I’d like to visit Yosemite and Yellowstone Park, have Thanksgiving Dinner at Plimoth Pawtuxet with the Pilgrims (yes this is a real thing you can do), and go to the Christkindlmarkt in Nuremberg, Germany because it’s the biggest in the world. Last year I decided to start learning German in Duolingo so I could watch the Marchen Perlen German fairy tale series online. I haven’t gotten too far beyond, “My roommate loves my cat,” and “Is the market on the right or left?” but it’s been entertaining. So what to learn in 2025? Well to start off I’ve always wanted to learn how to bake yeast bread…I’ve tried before several times and totally flubbed it. So this year I’m gonna learn how to bake a loaf of bread from scratch…using my great-grandfather “Woody”’s recipe.

Closing Thoughts

So as of today I have attained a full half century, just like Hetty King, and I have myriad thoughts and feelings about it. Reaching a new decade is always a big deal. Isn’t it interesting how our attitudes about birthdays change as we grow older? When you’re a child, you can’t wait to get older, and proudly tell people how you’re 7 ¾ years old. When you’re a teenager, you can’t wait to get older so you can get your driver’s license, and be old enough to purchase alcohol, and move out and live life on your own. But once we start to reach our mid to late 20s, you don’t see many people saying, “Man, only 136 more days til I turn 30!” You don’t see anyone longingly rifling through their calendar going, “Oooo, I can’t wait until I turn 40…then I’ll finally be old enough to do stuff!”

As we reach those later-in-life milestones, there is decidedly less excitement. The anticipation we had for birthdays as children dulls as we begin to worry over things like grey hairs and weight gain. And although we are given much in terms of knowledge, experience, and adventures, we also begin to come to the place where things are also being taken away. In the past decade, I have lost both of my parents, the home I grew up in, and the college I attended for four years. But I have also gained! I was in my sister’s wedding and gained a niece and two nephews.

I also kick-started my writing career, joined the Realm Maker’s writing community, and formed by own little writer’s “Inkling” fellowship with my friends Josh and Sarah Chadd and Troy and Stacy Hooker! I love where I am in life right now…I’m learning a lot too.

There are times, more than I like to admit, where I fall prey to the “Walking Distance” mindset, and wish I could just be a child again, back in our old house, surrounded by my family, playing with my My Little Ponies and reading the Babysitters’ Club, with my biggest care in the world being what I would dress for on Halloween. Yes, I miss that, and often feel sad over what I’ve lost. But, to be honest, having experienced loss on all levels has only made me appreciate both what I had in the past and what I have presently all the more. We just can’t fully appreciate our lives without the element of change. If everything stayed the same all the time, forever, not only would we not appreciate what we have, we’d come to hate it because we’d get bored! No, change is necessary to strengthen us, to build our character, and to grow our gratitude.

So what will you do with the rest of your life? Whether it’s five days or another fifty years, I’m going headfirst into all of it. I can’t choose everything that happens to me, but as Gandalf says, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

And, as Alec reminded Hetty, it’s not over yet! I believe that I have much, much more to look forward to!

Here’s to another half century! 🥳

Links I Like

Links I like:

More
articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *